Governors Awards Red Carpet

Still crazy after all these years.

Darlings, it was the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' second annual Governors Awards and celebrities swarmed the place like cockroaches in dresses that cost more than your car. Let's pour a cup of coffee and form some opinions together, mkay?

Hilary Swank in Marchesa Spring 2011

Ugh. We are so over Georgina Chapman and her contractual obligation dresses. How appropriate that she wore a dress that looks like it was made out of Morticia's box of tissues and paired it with shoes that look like, well, tissue boxes with heels. We don't like (shocker) the dress as it appears on the model, but Swanky's need to show maximum skin means the hem got raised on her version and whatever slight elegance the original look had is completely gone.

Juliette Lewis in Reem Acra

LUV. HUH. Just caught "Whip It" over the weekend and she was the best thing in it. We like that she can go from the crazy-girl looks to simple and classic, but this dress looks awfully stiff and heavy on her.

Marisa Tomei in Vivienne Westwood

She pulls off these pseudo-retro looks so well, like she's a particularly fabulous aunt at an Italian wedding in 1960. The only thing we kind of hate are those very Westwood boob-points at the top of the bustline. It always makes the wearer look way bustier than she is.

Natalie Portman in Lanvin

It's pretty, but there's an awful lot going on with this dress, draping wise. When she stands correctly it looks great, because it's one of those dresses that only looks good when you stand a certain way, which always makes us think that if we were women, we'd never wear such a thing. How tense would you be all night knowing that if your feet are more than a foot apart the line of the dress is ruined? Way too geisha for our tastes. And the matchy-match shoes pain us.

Sharon Stone

God help us, we love that crazy old broad. We like to think that she and her gay spend the afternoon smoking joints and drinking martinis while she gets ready. Which would explain the sloppy lacing giving the illusion of fat rolls. We doubt very much she's got much extra fat on her bones, so all that bunching must be the fabric. If her gay hadn't been three sheets to the wind, he would have stopped her before she got in the limo and said "Hold on, honey. You need to be relaced."

Nice color, though.


[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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Labels: Fashion, Hilary Swank, Juliette Lewis, Lanvin, Marchesa, Marisa Tomei, Natalie Portman, Red Carpet, Reem Acra, Sharon Stone, Vivienne Westwood