The Last Belated Celebrity Batch: Slash's B-Day

It was July 23 and it was legendary rock guitarist and incognegro Slash's birthday bash in Las Vegas, baby. With wife on arm and Fergie on vocals, Slash rocked out with a throng of curious guests, including a sighting from a dude I haven't spotted outside of captivity in years.

This is Slash and Perla Hudson, wife of Slash. All class, those two. Cigarettes and drinks in hand dressed in whatever was lying on the floor. I'm sure they sniffed it first before they put it on. It's that rock n' roll lifestyle, baby. We don't do laundry, we just stop wearing underwear!

Fergie Ferg and will.i.am who DJayed the bash.

Oh ... MY ... WORD! Who is that strange, tiny, ripped man? Cuddling up to the hard rock chicks with his shirt wide open is none other than comedian Tommy Freakin' Davidson. "In Living Color" star. Former addict. I had no clue that he and Slash were aces. Perhaps Davidson and Slash's ex-bandmate/ex-friend Axl Rose shared the same dope dealer at one time or something. Either way, he was the last person I expected to see shirtless in a sea of the skankiest looking rough riding rock chicks in the history of rough riding rock chicks.

Eh. Tommy's been a few times around the Mulberry bush as well, so maybe he's in his element. Work it, skinny boy.

will.i.am works it while Tommy D. poses with Christina Kim (and I don't trust WireImage on that being her name) and Anthony Lance (and Lord only knows who he is ... Snob nation? Any clues who these folks are?)

You know what time it is?

It's Fergie rocks it in the skin-tight, galvanized rubber black pants time!

I have to admit. Fergie is far more believable as a trashy rock cover band singer than an R&B/Hip Hop seductress. I mean, look at the way she thrashes it around in those scary-ass pants. You don't learn that shit. That's natural.

She's like a less attractive version of Tawny Kitaen straddling the hood of a car in a Whitesnake video. (Don't ask me how I know these things. I swear. My blackness credentials are in my other leather pants ... I say as I sing, "And here I go again on my own! Going down the only road I've ever known ...!")

Say It Ain't So, Luda ... Barack Soooo Needs Rapper Insurance

"Obama probably likes this song but he can't be like man this song is the shit when it talks badly about the other candidates. Luda is making some hot tracks as always." -- commenter Ek at the site Baller Status.

No. Not from the dude behind "Chicken and Beer!" How could he produce something deemed "offensive?" Not the guy both Bill O'Reilly and Oprah Winfrey have beef with. I'm shocked, I tell you. SHOCKED that a rapper/actor like Ludacris produced a hot track presidential candidate Barack Obama had to denounce. Shocked, I say!

From BBC News (thanks, Tamra and Bam):

The musician used a misogynistic term to describe Mrs. Clinton and urged Mr. Obama against appointing her as his running mate, saying that she "hated on you".

Mr McCain, the Republican candidate for the presidency, does not belong in "any chair unless he's paralyzed", according to the rapper.

Mr Burton added: "As Barack Obama has said many, many times in the past, rap lyrics today too often perpetuate misogyny, materialism, and degrading images that he doesn't want his daughters or any children exposed to."

The Ludacris song urges black people to cast their votes in the forthcoming election, and lends his support to Mr Obama's bid.

The lyric "the world is ready for change 'cause Obama is here" is repeated throughout the track.

In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine earlier this year, Mr Obama included Ludacris when describing hip-hop stars he considered "great talents and great businessmen."

Listen to the track at Pop Crunch.

In the song Luda says W. is the worst of all 43 presidents (for sure) and that Obama is his man because he complimented his business savvy. (He'd also like to be vice president. Hmm ... I'm still holding out for Will Smith.)

Of course the Obama campaign had to get out their denouncement pen to squash this little "paint the White house black" musical atom bomb.

A song by rap star Ludacris criticizing Barack Obama's opponents has been called "outrageously offensive" by the US presidential candidate's campaign.

(The song) "Politics As Usual" calls President Bush "mentally handicapped," and insults both Hillary Clinton and John McCain.

"Ludacris is a talented individual but he should be ashamed of these lyrics," said Mr. Obama's spokesman Bill Burton.

World is ready for change because Obama is here? I just can't hold back all this shock and awe. I'm just so very, very surprised. Oh dear. I think I caught the vapors!

Whew. Now that I've revived myself with some smelling salts I can finally address this issue with some clarity. Not known for their ability to keep it kosher, rappers are not the most, ahem, PC of poets to deal with politically. Traditionally, the classic progressive rapper was all about challenging the established order. Now most of those rappers have been reduced to indie status and the only commercially viable "conscious" rappers left are Nas, Lupe Fiasco and sometimes Kanye "George Bush doesn't care about black people" West.

But these rap individuals are not known for their class, and sometimes their acts of "art" can amount to cultural perfidy. I know some folks consider Luda an artist, but I can't say I'm a fan of his work. I didn't agree with Bill O'Reilly's foolish fatwa on the dude and I really thought he and other rappers should have just dropped the whole "Oprah won't have us on" beef because how hard rock are you if you want to be on Oprah's sensitive daytime hour for women of a certain age? Rapper/actor, be accountable for what you say. You knew you were going to piss of people when you wrote it, so seriously, who cares?

Well ... I guess the Obama campaign cares if a pro-Obama, anti-everyone else diss track comes out.

I'd like to give Luda the "Not Helping!" award today just to make a point, but the reality is Obama's campaign has brought out both the politics and the opportunism in rappers. There are going to be a lot of pro-Obama songs. Nas has his "Black President" jam (which is actually pretty awesome). But while Luda's "Politics As Usual" may be relevant, and some might even agree with the content of it, the Obama campaign can't afford to be cavorting with rappers who've extolled the virtues of licking a woman from her head to her toes. Wha-wha-wha-what's your fan-fan-fan-fantasy, Luda? A black president?

This is a time bomb of a thousand Sister Soulja Moments waiting to happen. Let the great rapper denouncement begin! I personally think the campaign should start "pre-denouncing" some rappers before they get creative. You know? As a form of rapper insurance. Come up with a good/bad rappers list and get to pre-denouncing. I nominate St. Louis' own Nelly. That whole credit card through the crack of a woman's ass could come back to hurt you, Barack. And put Lil' Jon on the list too. And T-Pain. And of course, Lil' Weezy. God. We can't have anyone thinking he speaks for the Great Black Hopemongerer. A matter of fact, all rappers are too risky. They've all dropped the n-word once or twice or a million times. They've all been dissed by Oprah and O'Reilly. They all still scare old white people even though rappers are staunch gun owning capitalists who should all really be Republicans by now anyway.

And The Daily Show agrees with me.

But rappers don't want to out themselves in that manner, I'm sure. Belonging to the GOP this year is not the hip, dope, fresh thing to do. So until the Republicans are able to lure them into their midst, a la Eazy-E, we're going to have to deal with things like this.

I'm not saying rappers should be silenced. Far from that. I'm pro-rappers rapping whatever exists in their little hearts. (Big ups to the First Amendment!) I'm just saying they should be prepared to get denounced, which could actually be a boon for them. After all, in rap all negatives are really positives. I'm sure Luda, et al, can flip this little snub into the ultimate megamix diss track. And that would really help Obama, because then he could disassociate himself from yet another group of undesirables.

You can't be the "rapper's choice" for prez if the rappers are rapping against you.

Reinterpreting the Shirt Dress

Shirt dresses are the best. They are smart, sophisticated but still very feminine and daytime perfect. Tailored, clean cut, prim and pretty, they are the sisters to classic DVF wrap dresses (and can even be worn by girls less well endowed in the chest area!). These kind of shirt dresses, like the ones shown from Ralph Lauren, will never go out of style. But in a more casual atmosphere, as I almost always find myself in, sometimes these shirt dresses make me feel slightly too dressed up, even if they are designed to be perfect for the daytime- like a sore thumb who somehow landed on the streets from the country club.
Luckily for me, the newly updated shirt dress this season neatly solves my dilemma. They are less structured, more casual, with fun, youthful details. And yet they still manage to maintain the very proper and put together effect of a classic shirt dress! These two are from DVF (left) and Sass & Bide (right). I especially love how they made it into a high collar instead on the Sass & Bide dress.
Over at Paul and Joe Sister (left) and Derek Lam 3.1 (right), they turned in the buttons and switched it for laces . Usually I'm not a fan of this type of lacing up (too Pocahontas!), but I think it works here. It gives it a more casual, outdoor-sy feeling to the whole look.
Here are two of my favourite reinterpretations of the shirt dress from Top Shop (left) and Corey Lynn Calter from Nordstrom (right). The Top Shop dress barely looks like a shirt dress with its wide round collar, bubbly sleeves and scrunching. But all the crucial elements are still there. With the right accessories i.e. big colorful necklace, this dress would look so cool and now. Going in the opposite direction, the dress from Nordstrom is loose but still structured in a futuristic kind of way. The addition of the bright yellow belt is absolutely genius. It completes the look. I DEFINITELY wouldn't mind owning this dress!

Image Source: Ralph Lauren, Paul and Joe Sister, Top Shop, Nordstrom and Net a Porter

Reinterpreting the Shirt Dress

Shirt dresses are the best. They are smart, sophisticated but still very feminine and daytime perfect. Tailored, clean cut, prim and pretty, they are the sisters to classic DVF wrap dresses (and can even be worn by girls less well endowed in the chest area!). These kind of shirt dresses, like the ones shown from Ralph Lauren, will never go out of style. But in a more casual atmosphere, as I almost always find myself in, sometimes these shirt dresses make me feel slightly too dressed up, even if they are designed to be perfect for the daytime- like a sore thumb who somehow landed on the streets from the country club.
Luckily for me, the newly updated shirt dress this season neatly solves my dilemma. They are less structured, more casual, with fun, youthful details. And yet they still manage to maintain the very proper and put together effect of a classic shirt dress! These two are from DVF (left) and Sass & Bide (right). I especially love how they made it into a high collar instead on the Sass & Bide dress.
Over at Paul and Joe Sister (left) and Derek Lam 3.1 (right), they turned in the buttons and switched it for laces . Usually I'm not a fan of this type of lacing up (too Pocahontas!), but I think it works here. It gives it a more casual, outdoor-sy feeling to the whole look.
Here are two of my favourite reinterpretations of the shirt dress from Top Shop (left) and Corey Lynn Calter from Nordstrom (right). The Top Shop dress barely looks like a shirt dress with its wide round collar, bubbly sleeves and scrunching. But all the crucial elements are still there. With the right accessories i.e. big colorful necklace, this dress would look so cool and now. Going in the opposite direction, the dress from Nordstrom is loose but still structured in a futuristic kind of way. The addition of the bright yellow belt is absolutely genius. It completes the look. I DEFINITELY wouldn't mind owning this dress!

Image Source: Ralph Lauren, Paul and Joe Sister, Top Shop, Nordstrom and Net a Porter

More Belated (Random) Celebrity Snapshots

So many pictures, so little time. Right, Ashanti? Because I was slackin' and suffering from brain drain last weekend I didn't get my celebrity photo spread up. Tsk. Tsk. Guess I'll just have to sprinkle it about throughout this week. While Tuesday's spread featured a lavender affair in the Hamptons, todays is a poo poo platter of randomness. A little Dennis Rodman here and a little J. Lo there. Something for everyone! Get a taste!

Girl, I just don't know what is going on here. WireImage said on July 22nd, Ashanti was pushing something at an event called "The Island Next Door." A little Googling revealed she was bidding "Aloha" to winners of a Nassau County Tourism vacation. Nice. While it looks like she jacked some fantabulous lace-front wig action, I don't like the grape Kool-Aid nail polish. Other than that, she looks happy to be picking up a check. What a world. You show up. Make a few faces. Take a few pictures and ... Money, please!

Oh, Mimi! It would be too much to ask Mariah Carey to dress her chronological age, but I guess you're only as old as you feel (or market) and Mariah is a spry, midriff-baring 22 years of age. With rainbows and unicorns and butterflies and such. Her life is like a Candyland game board where everyday she's walking down "Gum Drop Lane."

This picture was taken July 22nd at MTV's TRL studio. She reminds me of preteens who dress like junior hookers because they think that's what supermodels look like. You know? A little Daisy Duke meets Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman" at a Build-A-Bear Workshop? Or one of those Sanrio stores. Or Claire's. Is there a rich folk version of Claire's?

And I know she's had this look for a long time now, but I still really, really, really hate Mimi with blonde hair. I truly wish she'd reconsider something closer to the hair color of her birth, or at least the hair color of ten years ago when she was still a ringlet rocking brunette.

A lil' J. Lo in the world's fugliest, shapeless, muumuu. The contrasting block pattern (which exudes a bit of a tribal vibe) looks horrid, like something I could pick up at one of those black bookstore/gift shop/African boutique/knick-knack/wig shack huts found wherever communities of Negroes congregate. Like would cost about $80 and would hang next to the dashikis and mud cloth print tops n' bottoms, on the rack near the strawberry incense, giant posters of Malcolm X holding a gun while looking out a window and Tupac/Biggie memorial T-shirts.

And all the wigs there are made out of 100 percent human hair!

I don't know what's going on with this, as Jennifer Lopez and Skeletor hubby, Marc Anthony visit the set of theatrical production "In the Heights" July 24, Jen's birthday. (The second shot features Lopez and Anthony with actor Lin-Manuel Miranda.) And like with Mariah, I am sick of olive complexioned brown people with blonde hair. You look ridiculous. Very few light brown people can make this look work and like Mariah, Jennifer is not one of them.

Mr. Baby Wipes is on the cover of Philadelphia Style! How stylish for Terrence Howard, even though he clearly needs a haircut in these photographs. A lil' shape up for that natural. But it's cool, Senor Baby Wipes, esta frio! Rock that Philly stilo!

Dennis Rodman. Still alive and attending Ed Hardy swimwear fashion shows. Below he is pictured with designers Christian Audigier and Richie Rich. The event took place in Miami July 18th. So what do you think his breath smells like? I'm guessing Mojitos, chili cheese Fritos and Red Bull.

NBC TV news guy and ex-NFL baller Tiki Barber is pictured here at the opening of Brother Jimmy's on Murray Hill, July 24. I'm assuming the smiling woman was his date since WireImage's lazy ass did not bother to catch her name. He's with his wife Ginny Cha. I wanted to shout, "Woman! Git yo' hands off my man!" but I resisted, because I had to know specifically which woman I needed to tell to get their hands off my man that is her man. Bummer!

And now let's play, "Who Looks A Hot Mess!"

Today's contestants include rapper Fabolous, habitual partier/resident tipsy girl actress Gabrielle Union, former Top Model contestant Toccara or rapstress/"What does she do again?" Trina, all appearing at the "Miami Stand Up" event July 20.

Fabolous looks the way he always looks, dressed in generic rapper mode. The half-cocked hat, the comical 80s shades, the bit o' bling hither and tither. Nothing to shout about. Gabby, with a smile that says "I'm ready to drink for free," looks pretty, as always, and is dressed in black, as always. Once again, nothing to see here. Toccara, a beautiful woman did not take a beautiful picture here. The dress looks like it came from 1991, the hair is indescribable and the look on the face, not sexy. Jay Manuel would not approve. But our winner is Trina who has consistently looked a hot mess from several years in the running.

I don't know what Trina does (other than look a hot mess and take the world's most unsexy pictures). I've heard she's a singer or rapper or performer of some type. I could say something really obvious and lazy like ... she looks like a bad drag queen that RuPaul would write a diss track about. Or "a shirt is not a dress." Or she has thighs so big Popeye's is threatening to fry them up and serve them to the Reverend Al Sharpton.

No. I'm just going to say that if you put some pants on her she looked like a back up singer for Ashford & Simpson around the time they did "Solid." That she would be the one in the back with a ton of make up on so she'd look decent on the tee-vee as they performed on Solid Gold.

And she looks "A Hot Mess!" Congratulations, Trina!

It's a wax Tyra Banks, unveiled at Madam Tussands' July 24.

Samuel Jackson, Takashi Okazaki and The RZA prompting "Afro Samurai" at Comic-Con in San Diego, July 24.

Star Trek pioneers George Takei and Nichelle Nichols share an embrace and a kiss during the closing night of Outfest in Los Angeles, July 21.

Nichelle looks gorgeous and George is beaming. After all, dude finally got married in Cali, after the courts struck down a law barring gays for marrying. So George boldly went ... ahem ... where no gay had gone before (legally in California). Enjoy the wedded life, George.

A Fight Agaisnt Taser Abuse and Other News

UPDATES!

Day of Blogging For Justice: The AfroSpear has declared Wednesday a day to spread awareness of the abuse of tasers by law enforcement. These acts sometimes ending in death for the people they encounter. This is a huge problem very few in the press are talking about, other than showing the occasional cop cruiser video of "Don't Tase Me, Bro" taser abuse exploitation.

The reality is these devices, intended to make things safer for police and suspects, are being misused to the point that people are being seriously harmed or tortured for little to no reason. With the false mental concept that tasering doesn't cause lasting damage, it has become the weapon of choice in situations that don't warrant its use, sometimes amounting to a death sentence for the unfortunate individuals being tased.

It's a sad truth, but because it is the poor, the black and the brown who often are the target of this thuggery, little attention has been brought to the cases of a suicidal man tasered on a bridge, causing him to fall to his death or a pregnant black woman being tasered in Ohio or the case of a black man dead when he went to the police for help and was tasered. But the larger reality is if the police feel comfortable with abusing society's "undesirables" and ethnic minorities with them, they're not going to think twice about using them on anyone else. But we don't want to wait for them to taser Lindsay Lohan to death to get people to care.

The blog Tasered While Black has even more disturbing stories of tasers being used as a torture device when in the wrong hands.

For those who have blogs or Web sites and want to spread awareness, you can obtain this anti-taser abuse widget here and place it on your site.

It's sad to know that something meant to save lives is now being abused to end them. With everyone from teenage girls to college students to pregnant women being targets and suspects being tased to death or torture via tasers in prison, it's necessary to spread awareness that this device's use needs to be monitors as closely as the use of a gun or any other form of excessive force.

IN OTHER NEWS:

• I'm still accepting submissions for "Doomed Romance." So far I've received four. I'd like to get at least five or more (the more the merrier) for the series. (Ideally, I'd like 10 so I could do a two week series like I did with "Mothers and Daughters.") You can send your stories to me (500 words or less, if you can) at blacksnob@gmail.com. All stories will be reprinted anonymously.

• There's still time to vote for your favorite (and not favorite) pundits in Black Snob's "America's Next Top Pundit" poll. I'm noticing that a lot of people hate Sean Hannity. Not surprising with his Obama is a secret Muslim who belonged to crazy "whitey" hating black Christian Church. I'm not even going into that nonsensical thinking. (Pick ONE, Sean! Secret Muslim or Crazy Christian. ONE!) And a lot of people lurve Donna Brazile (You're not her boo!) And a lot of folks are not voting for their favorite Republican blonde fembot! C'mon! You have to enjoy the insanity of at least one!

• 

  Today is Big Sis' birthday. The eldest Snob Sister has turned 35. We shall commemorate this day with banana cake and stories of how she terrorized me as a child by telling my my braids were really worms growing out of my head and abandoning me in the scary basement under guises that she's "be right back" after going to the restroom.

  I love you, Big Sis!