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SHRIIIIEEEEEKKKK!!!!!!!
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Darlings, a pretty, big-haired blonde from Nebraska cried and thanked Jesus last night, an event so unprecedented that all of humanity froze in astonishment.
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In another development that rocked humankind to its very core, she was wearing a gown that managed the impossible trifecta of being tacky, virginal, and a little slutty, all at the same time. World leaders were stunned.
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For her introduction to history, she chose to present herself like a slutty baked potato. The Pope was unavailable for comment.
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NATO leaders will meet later this week to draft a response to her ill-fitting red evening gown. Her piano skills were not considered a credible threat.
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Early polling of homosexual male bloggers indicates that first runner up Miss Arkansas was more fierce and had the better dress.
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Aw, we joke because we love. Congrats to Miss America 2011, Teresa Scanlan!
[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]
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